Looking back on my life I have just realized that I am a shameless quitter. I had 15 jobs, three times as many relationships, 100 diets, 200 hand bags, and twice as many hobbies. Of course some of these lasted barely more than a split second. And now I am in a situation where life demands long term committment . I am a mother. And there is nothing more essential in motherhood than committment. Well, some of you may argue that the word 'essential' is not the best one. After all, one can always abandon one's kids. Put them away in care fosters' parents. The kid would surely survive. But this option is good for those who are prepared to live with the feeling of guilt, or harrowing questions ringing in their ears: what would have been, if...I am prepared to take neither on board. No soul gnawing questions for me, and thank you, I will pass on the feeling of quilt as well. I will stick around until the moment my birds fly the nest. And although I know that's a long sticking around time, I am determined not to quit. So for the next 18 years, I am prepared to face the highs and lows. I know there are many many things to happen. What these things will be God only knows and the mere thought of what they could be gives me severe worry headaches and palpitations at night. So For the moment I won't think ahead more than tomorrow. I'll just wake up around 7, and prepare breakfast for my children, who do not eat breakfast.